I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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