found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
