I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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