dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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