the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
