okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
