I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just cropdusted the office
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
