we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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