Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
