Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
