he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You pole danced in your parka.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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