direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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