the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
