wakey wakey hands off snakey
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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