i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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