Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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