I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
