So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
from now on my penis is your penis
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
