Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
