I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
