Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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