dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
