I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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