He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
