i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
