Got a toothbrush?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
FUCK WHALES
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
