we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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