he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
