Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
