Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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