i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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