i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How drunk are you?
Completed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
