u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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