does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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