So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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