EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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