I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
