$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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