i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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