By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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