i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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