I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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