he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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