So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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