Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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