he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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