apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need a beard to bite.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
