How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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