After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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