just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
