Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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