Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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