I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
