sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
