About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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