whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
