just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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